


Life In Plastic (It’s Fantastic)

by formalizing



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Toy Story Fusion, Anatomical Deficiencies, F/F, Fluff and Crack, Happy Ending, M/M, Mentions of the Happy Family Barbies, Toy Store Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-07
Updated: 2011-07-07
Packaged: 2018-05-08 07:50:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5489369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/formalizing/pseuds/formalizing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>blindfold_spn request: “Jensen is a Ken doll, Jared is a G.I. Joe, and they are in <i>love</i>.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Life In Plastic (It’s Fantastic)

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted [here](http://blindfold-spn.livejournal.com/4508.html?thread=6298268#t6298268).
> 
> Title from Aqua's "Barbie Girl". If you have somehow never heard that song, get thee to [YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZyhrYis509A).

Jensen winds up in the dream home display right out of the box. He’s the newest model, part of the “Hollywood Dreams” collection. His green eyes have stars in them because he’s an _actor_. He even comes with a tuxedo to look classy at all the ~~tea~~ premiere parties.

They pair him up with Danneel, who is heralded as the most popular redhead since Midge. She’s nice, and funny, and insists that everyone call her “Danny,” like her packaging says. She’s his best (if only) friend, and even if they’re posed as the perfect couple, staring at each other with vacant, loving expressions all day, she’s still _just_ Jensen’s friend.

Maybe that’s the reason the Danneel dolls sell out within the month, only the floor model left in the dream home with Jensen, but nobody ever buys a Jensen to go with her.

“The chemistry just isn’t there,” she tells him sadly one night, staring down at the rows and rows of boxed dolls waiting for homes.

They give Jensen another two weeks before the next model comes in—her name is Genevieve, and she and Danny are going to be roomies. Surprisingly enough, the chemistry must be there between _them_ , because they start flying off the shelves in pairs.

Jensen gets moved to the next display down, and then the next, and the next. Still, the boxes of his model collect dust, and the outlook becomes more and more grim until eventually, inevitably, they pull him from the shelves and he ends up where all unwanted toys go—the bargain bin.

That’s where he meets Jared.

Jared’s been there longer than him, and it’s not hard to tell why. He’s a G.I. Joe “Combat Hero,” all rippling muscles and cool weapons, but his utility belt is _pink_. Bright pink. The color choice doesn’t exactly win over the affections of any little boy.

“It was supposed to be red,” he tells him one night, looking down at it with a lopsided smile. “I don’t actually mind it so much.”

Life in the bargain bin isn’t so bad once he has Jared around. Realistically, they shouldn’t get along as well as they do. Jared’s an “action figure” and Jensen’s designed for dress-up; Jared is from Hasbro and Jensen’s from Mattel. They make it work, though.

Jared comes complete with a sense of adventure and so they spend night after night exploring the shop, climbing the Lego displays and racing the Hot Wheels down the tracks—the ones that don’t end in a swift flight into a wall, that is. Sometimes they even visit Gen and Danny up in the dream house, Jared working the Easy Bake beforehand to conjure up a hostess gift because it’s apparently rude to show up empty-handed.

He’s charming and helpful, winning the girls over easily, and he keeps an arm around Jensen’s shoulders or a hand at his back all night.

“Now that’s what I call chemistry,” Danny whispers as she hugs him good-bye, and Jensen’s glad he’s made of plastic, or he’d have been blushing the whole way back to the bin.

Only he can’t get the thought out of his head after that. He dreams of it as he lays immobile all day, and every time Jared looks over and flashes those perfectly sculpted dimples at night, wordlessly suggesting some new adventure, Jensen melts a little inside.

It would be so much easier if Jensen was just a standard Ken-clone—Ken is designed to go with Barbie, and that’s that.

“Do you ever wish you were _normal_ , Jared?” Jensen asks one night, when they’re in the store’s front window with the two FurReal dogs, playing in the summery park display. They’re nearly as tall as Jared himself. “Do you wish someone had picked you?”

Jared looks over from where he’s scratching behind Harley’s ear, a genuinely puzzled twist to his lips.

“Why would I want that?” he says, so earnest and sweet. “Then I would never have met you.”

One look at that adoring smile and Jensen can’t help but lean up and press his lips to Jared’s, quick and fleeting.

Jared’s smile widens even further as he slips a hand around to rest on Jensen’s neck and pulls him back in for another, longer this time. Jensen sways a bit on his feet after that one, starry-eyed both literally and figuratively.

“What took you so long?” Jared asks, and Jensen honestly doesn’t have an answer.

After that, they don’t spend quite as much time adventuring at night. It’s not that they can do what _some_ toys—the ones whispered about quietly and infrequently, the ones that live in a _different_ kind of shop that’s not for children—can do; G.I. Joe turns out to be just as anatomically-impaired as Ken. But they can hug. And they can kiss. And if they’re feeling particularly frisky, they can even _cuddle_.

Jensen’s never actually cuddled before, but Jared is an excellent cuddler and a very patient teacher. He’s got those strong, muscled arms and a chest big enough to pillow any head; he can cuddle Jensen _all night long_.

It’s all so perfect. At least until the night Jensen wakes up to find Jared’s not there.

He searches all through the store and asks everyone he can find, but nobody’s seen him. Finally he resorts to climbing the dolls and action figures shelf, right to the top where he knows he’ll find Chad.

Chad was Jared’s friend even before Jensen, an old, discontinued Ken-model like Jensen figures he is, now. Chad’s not actually a bad toy—there’s nothing defective about him, mostly. But he was listed as the father on the packaging for no less than three of the wildly unpopular “Happy Family” Barbies, the ones that came with a baby bump and removable baby. From what Jensen can tell, the girls are _not_ so happy about it, and that’s why Chad lives in hiding atop the shelves.

Since he’s so high up that he can’t be seen, Chad doesn’t have to “sleep” during the day, which means he’s the one most likely to have seen where Jared got to.

“Sorry, dude, but Jared’s gone,” he says with a pitying look, hanging out in a stolen pink deck chair from the dream boat, and Jensen’s heart leaps up into his throat. “Some kid came running up and said he’d be the perfect present for her brother. Little brat wouldn’t even look at anything else her mom tried to show her.”

Jensen feels sick as he crawls back to the bin alone, and he’s asleep long before the sun comes up.

He knows that he should be happy for him; Jared is going to have a home and someone who loves him, and that’s all any toy wants, really. Jensen tries to hang on to that thought as he drags himself to the front display to sit with the dogs each night, but it doesn’t make it any easier. Danny and Gen give him soft, sad looks and gather him up between their arms, but that doesn’t help either. It just reminds him of the arms he’s missing.

His heart aches like it’s made of more than plastic. Eventually, Jensen just stops leaving the bin altogether.

Then one night, just when Jensen is thinking that it might be better to crawl under one of the shelves and never come out again, Jared comes back.

He’s spent the whole day in the returns drawer up front, finally crawling out after dark, and the only warning Jensen gets is Harley and Sadie’s frantic barking before Jared’s running down the aisle and hopping up into the bin like a true action hero, smiling that brilliant smile.

“Girl bought me for her brother as a joke,” he says with a chuckle between Jensen’s desperate kisses. “He didn’t think it was very funny.”

Jensen hardly hears a word. He has Jared back, safe and sound, and even if he has to stay awake all day and night, Jensen never wants to let him go again.

They find their own spot at the top of the shelves the very next night. It’s far enough away from Chad’s that they won’t have to look at his mismatched, eyesore of a collection of stolen furniture every night, but close enough to Gen and Danny’s that they can visit often. They even manage to bring the dogs, though it takes the strength of all five of them and an intricate series of pulleys that Jared puts together to get them up to the top.

Still, Jensen can’t quite suppress the pang of guilt he feels as they lay together near dawn, dogs finally settled into a happy pile of synthetic fur at their feet after the excitement of the move, and the whole store quieting for the coming day.

“It’d be okay if you changed your mind, you know,” he whispers, and Jared leans back a bit to look at him with sleepy eyes, frowning.

“Changed my mind?”

Jensen waves a between them.

“Just… this. The running away and hiding. Lost toys don’t find homes, Jared, and you deserve a home.”

Jared’s eyes are warm as he glances down at the dogs, then up again to meet Jensen’s. He nuzzles his nose into Jensen’s neck with a soft smile, tossing a leg over Jensen’s like that answers everything.

Jensen’s heart races like it’s made of more than plastic, and he thinks that maybe it does.


End file.
